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A Daring Year

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This will be my DARING year.

I’m not one to really take risks or step out of my comfort zone on purpose. I play everything pretty safe and enjoy it that way. I have changed over the years though. I mean to be a military spouse you have to adapt and change. I’m not the controlling big sister I once was. Maybe my brothers and I relax into that dynamic when we are all around our parents, but in general I’m not at all controlling. My Mom has said she used to worry for when I would have kids – I was that controlling. But I’m a relaxed parent.

I’ve never been what anyone would call daring. I’m not even totally sure what it would take before I considered myself daring. I took the first step on Saturday though.

I did the polar bear plunge at Birch Bay. I know how to swim so its not that I was trying to get over any kind of fear there. I’m actually not able to pinpoint what made me pick to participate.

It was a fantastic way to start the new year. I loved it. It was a rush and it felt awesome. My Mom went with me to take pictures and she said she can’t get over how happy I was and look in the pictures.

And so begins my daring year. Cold water seizes your lungs and you have to take short breaths. I tried to take deep breaths and it just didn’t work. I fell and scraped both knees and one shin. So today I am walking around knowing I was able to do something that others call crazy (though the newspaper said there were 600 people there on Saturday). It was an awesome experience, and I’ll have the scars to prove it.

2010 Plans

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Last year I picked a word, actually I picked a few words, to strive to live by for the year. There were times when I didn’t think about the words at all, but there were times when I leaned heavily on them.

Last year my words were: Just Breathe. Be Strong. Be Generous.

I didn’t try to actively do any of these things, like doing something and then realize oh I should be generous. Instead I tried to just live my life that way. I tried to be strong because living at our last duty station was horrible, I tried to be generous when we moved and were on the road for so long, and in times of anger or sadness (or anything in between) I reminded myself to just breathe.

I want to pick new words for this year. I think these went along together nicely and maybe I’ll keep one or two of them. We are facing another year of challenges – a new baby, public school woes (there is a bully who just won’t leave my daughter alone!), sports, traveling, being apart from Chris, and I’m sure I’m forgetting a few things!

We’ve been in the military for 11 years now, married for 9 of those, and the past couple of years have been the hardest so far. I didn’t think it would get easier, I didn’t think that him going from enlisted to officer would mean it would be easier either, but I certainly didn’t think it would get this much harder. Somedays I just focus on taking care of the kids and myself, and just breathe and be strong to get through the day. Being separated by over 14 hours and who knows how many miles and hardly getting to see each other – it’s a test of a relationship for sure.

So the quest to find my 2010 words is on! I have several blank notebooks that I plan on journaling in this year and am thinking I’ll devote one to my words.

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